Who You Callin' a Ho?!

I'd been feeling pretty good about myself the past few days. Currying some appreciative glances from the less fair sex. Scoring some flirtatious smiles. Clearly, I thought, the Indian subcontinent is the corner of the globe I've been looking for! Silly rabbit, it turns out tricks are for . . . well . . . tricks. My boss' wife, who is Indian and from Andhara Pradesh, generously explained to me last night that Indian men think all Western women are big scankalicious ho-bags. This is what happens when Paris Hilton and Britney Spears represent the women of America . . . During my last trip, we were playing charades in a "team building" exercise (dumb charades if you're Hyderabadi) folks here lurve that stuff. Anyway, someone acted out the following clues: white, house, woman. Eleanor Roosevelt? Nope. Hilary Clinton? Please. Jackie O? Who?! Monica Lewinsky? DING!! DING!! DING!! I mean . . . wow. Just. Wow.

Sadly, I now recognize those lingering looks as being, basically, leers. For this, I could have stayed in New York