Lenny Dykstra Bats Clean-Up for Karma

Apparently, my toad of an ex-boss is an unsecured creditor in Lenny Dystra's bankruptcy--to the tune of $229K. My all time favorite Met rips off the pathologically money-grubbing and dishonest David Vigliano (known to his "friends" as Vig the Pig, seriously).

What Lenny apparently lacks in financial acumen, he more than makes up for in his prowess as an implement of schadenfreude.

Sarah Palin: In Memoriam

“next to of course god america i
love you land of the pilgrims’ and so forth oh
say can you see by the dawn’s early my
country ’tis of centuries come and go
and are no more what of it we should worry
in every language even deafanddumb
thy sons acclaim your glorious name by gorry
by jingo by gee by gosh by gum
why talk of beauty what could be more beaut-
iful than these heroic happy dead
who rushed like lions to the roaring slaughter
they did not stop to think they died instead
then shall the voice of liberty be mute?”

He spoke. And drank rapidly a glass of water

ee cummings

Holiday Haiku

Less than five hours
Until start of long weekend
Time is standing still

Friday Hilarity

I know this is a melancholy Friday for lots of folks, but this is really and truly the best thing ever. I don't know the guy who put this togetherfrom Adam, but I can't imagine how it would not be a good idea to follow him on Twitter (http://twitter.com/djsteveporter)

On Ed Sullivan

Even though this incarnation is way before my time. This is one of current favorite songs, and like everything else after someone's death, it takes on an ironic meeting today.

Need a New Irrational Fear?

Not that the Swine Flu . . . I mean H1N1 panic has ebbed, I've been in the market for a new horrific disease to keep my awake at night, contemplating my own premature demise. Enter Raccoon Roundworm! It's already caused both the partial blindness of a teenager, and the hospitalization of an infant in my own fair borough of Brooklyn.

But, don't rejoice prematurely, sweet hypochondriacs. Unlike, the Swine Flu, Raccoon Roundworm prevention is fairly straightforward, i.e., don't eat raccoon feces. Um . . . Done. Although, I am kind of left wondering about that teenager.

Specter Senses Emergency, Breaks Glass

There's some martial arts mumbo jumbo about the how best way to win a fight is to not get into one. That appears to be the cagey solution of Sen. Arlen Specter--avoid a possibly catastrophic primary battle by ditching the GOP. PLUS: avail yourself of all of the campaign funds, that will no doubt come pouring your way.

Well, played Mr. Specter, well played.

Anyway, there are actual principals at play too. Whatever those are--

"Since my election in 1980, as part of the Reagan Big Tent, the Republican Party has moved far to the right. Last year, more than 200,000 Republicans in Pennsylvania changed their registration to become Democrats. I now find my political philosophy more in line with Democrats than Republicans."

Filibuster, be gone!

Things I Thought Only Happened on Fox Network Dramas . . .

A psychotic, pedophile cult leader, Juliano Verbard, has escaped from prison in French Polynesia. In an act of derring-do, he and his cohorts commandeered a helicopter and then flew it a few hundred yards (??) over the prison fence to waiting van.

Being a sociopath, however, and not a criminal mastermind, I'm willing to bet that Mr. Verbard's plans for, you know, getting of the island, aren't that well developed. Stay tuned.

For the Love of Bea

The crazy thing is that I was just talking with friends about Bea Arthur last night. Someone foolishly tried to challenge me on Golden Girls trivia . . . she thought Dick van Dyke dated Rose on the show. Silly rabbit.

Honestly, though, I'd say there is about a 10% chance that on any given day I have spoken to someone about Bea Arthur. That's kind of a ridiculously high likelihood, when you think about it. Not too far behind family members, friends, or a few particularly reviled coworkers.

The weekend after 9/11, my best friend and I flew to Washington D.C.--it was like a ghost town set of D.C.--to see Ms. Arthur in concert. It was just us and a bunch of old queens. She performed bare foot, and was spectacular.

In league only with Elaine Stritch (who also read for the Dorothy role on GG) Bea was truly one of the last, great of the gravelly-voiced dames.

Get Minxed . . . for Earth!

According to our friends at the The Local (NY Times Fort Greene/Clinton Hill blog) the only place in NYC to get the super-shiny, and semi-permanent Minx manicure is at DeLux on 704 Fulton, in Brooklyn. The look, sported by Beyonce in the Single Ladies video, "involves decals, not polish, and it lasts for 6 weeks without smudging or chipping."

So, I guess you could even say it's eco-friendly . . . eh, why not? And, by the way, NO DRYING TIME!

Honey is the resident Minxologist--call her at 212-920-1066 to set-up an appointment ($55)